Gus Muldoon, Demotivational Speaker

Latest Blog Posts - Gus Muldoon, Demotivational Speaker

• Lauryn Hill gets 3 months in jail (or, one month for every brain cell)
  on May 6, 2013 in Lauryn Hill
  Famed racist, pot-head, and singer Lauryn Hill was sentenced to three months in jail earlier today by a federal judge, for failing to pay around $1 million in taxes.  In addition to being locked up, Lauryn Over-the-Hill must pay a $60,000 fine.M...
• Pussy of the Month: Scott Biumi
  on Apr 19, 2013 in cops Pussy of the Month Club
  While the eyes of the world were glued on law enforcement activity in Boston, a surveillance camera at a McDonald's in Georgia captured an off-duty police sergeant pulling a gun and pointing at the head of a teenager in the drive-thru lane- all becau...
• Gus Goes Postal on the Postal Service
  on Mar 19, 2013 in Postal Service
  I just read an interesting article about how the United States Postal Service finally delivered a letter that was mailed in 1953.  While a bunch of feelgood nincompoops commented about how sweet the story was, not a single person felt compelled...
• Suck it up, Sissies!
  on Feb 14, 2013 in Carnival Cruise Ship Stranded
  A Tribute to the Passengers Aboard the Carnival Triumph Ship"I've had to eat tomato sandwiches for a week and pee into a plastic bag. I deserve money"I don't know about you, but I'm pretty darn sick and tired of hearing about the Carnival cruise ship...
• You are not a hero.
  on Jan 30, 2013 in American Heroes Victoria Soto
  I'm sure this will probably ruffle the feathers of some of you but I, for one, and pretty darn sick and tired of how recklessly the word "hero" is being tossed around these days, especially in regards to folks in the military and law enforcement.You...
• The Only TV Guide You'll Ever Need!
  on Jan 18, 2013 in television
  As a service to my faithful readers (both of you), I've decided to invent something I like to call the Perpetual TV Guide.  Any day of the week, any month of the year, simply check these listings and you'll be surprised just how accurate my TV G...
• All-You-Can-Eat Buffet Etiquette
  on Dec 30, 2012 in etiquette fat people
  The words "etiquette" and "all-you-can-eat buffet" are seldom used in the same sentence (much like the words "West Virginia" and "high school diploma"), and anyone who frequents these dining establishments knows that during busy times, walking up to...
• December 2012 in Review
  on Dec 18, 2012 in Mayan calendar Connecticut school shooting Westboro Baptist Church redneck religion
  "I want my guns!""And I want to live to see my seventh birthday, douchebag.""We need our guns to defend our precious property! Sorry, kid.""We wouldn't have this problem if we allowed Jesus in the classroom.""We're on it!""Oy vey! Maybe I should just...
• Sorry, rednecks, it's time to take your guns away
  on Dec 14, 2012 in Connecticut school shooting
  I've never been one to support government interference in our lives, but after today's school shooting in Connecticut, just days after a mall shooting in Oregon which left two people dead, I've come to the conclusion that America needs a nationwide b...
• Moron of the Week: Nicki Minaj
  on Nov 29, 2012 in Nicki Minaj
  Steven Tyler, the frontman of the iconic band Aerosmith, was forced to apologize this week after some garish freak whose only discernible talent is looking like a transgendered hooker took offense to a comment which she deemed as 'racist'.  That...

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