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Latest Blog Posts - Jacked in my Job
- Soup Slop. Soupid.Soup. It's one letter away from 'slop', which just about says it all. The average can of soup costs 89p-that's 89p for what is basically flavoured water. It is the food of the most foolish of wanton wastrels. Dave, enjoying some delicious chicke...
- Safe and sound for under a pound (not including gin).Whilst confined to barracks over the last couple of weeks, gozzing up allsorts off my chest, my thoughts have turned to home security. Sadly, it's a necessary precaution for many of us nowadays, as there are literally millions of packs of wrong 'uns...
- 18 'Must Have' Money-Saving Tips.on Jun 19, 2012 in chicken skin condom spectacles petrol sausages earwax bin liners Spoon gravy. phlegm cold boiled carrots snail shells bay leavesIn response to an overwhelming trickle of requests, today's offering consists of a comprehensive collection of my latest money-saving tips. Bin bags stuffed with rubbish make great 'emergency beanbags', should unwanted guests arrive. Dave, chilla...
- Fragranced fluids, Voodoo Chiles and Bruce Forsyth's anal secretions.Fragrance, perfume, aftershave, parfum, scent, l'essence. Whatever you want to call it, it's a waste of money. It usually smells unpleasant and is always hugely overpriced. Most of the cost is down to the packaging, with the actual liquid c...
- Squirrel Vajazzles, eating spiders and caterpillar insoles.'It's getting hot in here, so take off all your clothes'. Well, actually I'd rather you didn't to be honest. Most naked humans look like a lard sculpture crafted by traumatised chimps. Which brings me onto the subject for today. Insects. To...
- Money grabbing Gob Doctors and mouthwash hogwash.Ahhh, dentists. The scholarly 'Tooth Doctors', greedily sucking cash from the dry, withered tit-wallets of the gormless grateful. Dave has the teeth of an 'oss. I speak from experience as I spent 18 months working as a rather brawny dental nurse...
- Shoeconomics: Full Foot Intercourse and The Half-Stepper.on May 26, 2012 in Peter Sutcliffe camels footwear ambulance Broadmoor. library tinnitus Shoes hoppingShoes. Extravagant luxury or basic necessity? Whichever way you look at it they're an expensive piece of kit. Dave, having descended from Botswanan Camels is very 'heavy' on his feet. Add to the mix his 'sweating issues' and it's all too a...
- Trapped in the plughole? Shove it down the cakehole.Okay. So you've tipped away the washing-up water and there's some food trapped in the plughole. What do you do? Years ago, when we all had more money than sense, I would have either fished it out and put it in the bin, or sent it on it's way by pushi...
- Eggshells, Mooncups, bollockcups and dog's ears.Eggshells. What a waste. I've tried eating the shell along with the egg, but I've developed a low hobgoblin count and the quack reckons it's the eggshells wot done it. I know they can be put on the compost heap or ground up to make egg coffee, but th...
- Mite riddled greasy fish muck, bacon and magpie chickens.Smoked salmon. It's quite expensive but as I'm not a fan of eating mite-riddled greasy fish muck, I'm not too bothered. The Edge prefers this economical alternative to smoked salmon. But as ever, I am constantly thinking of others, and I hav...
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