Eddiet Profile
Donald
Join Date:
2012-03-30
Blogs Owned
1. Teach Yourself Japanese
Follow the misadventures of missing American Eddie Trombone as described in his recovered manuscript Teach Yourself Japanese
Latest Blog Posts
- 48. Blue-sky RocketshipNaturally, I thought of tampons. So I began filling in bubble D while the young girl and a woman I assumed to be her mother continued their walk through a field of flowers. As the girl listened intently to her … Continue reading →...
- 47. I Got a Headache“I got a headache.” This was not covered in Super Power Interview: Dominating Others and Charging Blindly Toward Your Future, a book I had borrowed from a bookstore downtown with especially poor security and had studied in preparation for this &#...
- 46. The Thing With the Guy From the PlaceAfter being advised to return to Japan by a woman named Monique and an image of the Virgin Mary constructed from cigarette butts and crack vials (previous post), I seized the opportunity to grab the job section of a two-week-old … Continue read...
- 45. Hail Mary(In the last installment of this blathering blog, a crack dealer in Chicago’s Cabrini-Greene neighborhood was holding a gun to the head of protagonist Eddie Trombone, who had inadvertently conceded that he was part of a conspiracy by the white R...
- 44. Corner Boy(Like a gabby drunk at the neighborhood tavern napping occasionally between rounds, our story pulls its head off the bar, removes a few coins from its forehead, and resumes from where it left off last time, with Mr. Trombone in … Continue readi...
- 43. Stay Puft PsychiatristThere was a white lady at a big desk. Let me try that again. There was an extremely white lady at a very big desk. No, doesn’t quite capture it. How about this: There was a woman the female equivalent … Continue reading →...
- 42. Cultural Abduction“My name is Eddie, and . . .” The words caught in my throat. I closed my eyes against the blue smoke that filled the little church basement. “I’m a . . .” I couldn’t say it. Even with my … Continue reading →...
- 41. The End of Karma(It behooves me to note by way of explanation for the rambling nonsense below, that the manuscript pages for this particular passage were stained here and there with what our laboratory here at the Consulate has determined was a Japanese … Cont...
- 40. Karma’s for Suckers (Part 2)(Postings to this site have been delayed due to an overwhelming public backlash following the last installment, in which Eddie Trombone made several snide comments about karma, people from Southern California, and devotees of the Unification Church,...
- 39. Karma’s for Suckers(Apologies for the lateness of this post. This is due to Japan’s Golden Week, a series of holidays no one knows the names of that stretches out for a week or so. I believe one of the holidays is Green … Continue reading →...
- 38. Culture GrindHis head turned slowly from side to side as he spoke, as if both neck and voice were driven by the same tiny motor, a motor that would occasionally stop, causing his head to abruptly freeze and his manicured ponytail … Continue reading →...
- 37. Life RaftTV is like a life raft. It keeps you out of the deep. A man wearing sagging, off-white underpants stands in front of a TV studio audience. As instructed by a fully-clothed man next to him, he climbs over a … Continue reading →...
- 36. The Common ColdThere’s a folksy saying about the common cold that goes something like this: you can take cold medicine and get better in three days, or, if you don’t like that, you can skip the medicine and just wait the three … Continue reading →...
- 35. French VentriloquismFrench ventriloquists don’t make enough money. I don’t know how much these uncharacteristically steady-lipped Gauls earn at the moment, but it cannot be enough to compensate for the miracle of uttering with frozen face a language normally requiri...
- 34. Freedom from BooksAfter admiring a sunrise that turned out to be a petroleum fire in the neighboring town, chatting a bit with a prison guard who kept a large, mounted machine gun trained on me the entire time, and then falling onto … Continue reading →...
- 33. A New Day(Please pardon the delay in postings to this site, but my staff was absent for much of the holiday season. Mr. Kikuchi was visiting his ancestral home in the temple-studded, gently rolling hills of Nara Prefecture, and Mrs. Doyle won … Continue...
- 32. The Confession(Thanks to a writer’s block Mrs. Doyle claims to have encountered a page and a half into her recently begun debut novel, we are now able, with the grumbling and grudging help of the frustrated as-yet-to-be-published authoress, to pick up … Co...
- 31. Honesty is the Best Policy(There simply is no excuse for the recent delay in postings to this site. But here is one anyway. Mrs. Doyle is working on a novel. When she first told me this, I thought she was using the word “novel” … Continue reading →...
- 30. The Book of MormonHe used the kind of hand signals you see soldiers use in war movies–whirling his index finger in the air, clenching his fist, making a V with two fingers and pointing at his eyes, stuff like that–which was good because … Continue re...
- 29. Confessions“Whap!” “What?” “No! Whap!” he said, and hit me in the side of the head with the telephone book. “Yeah, you’re right,” I assured him so he’d stop. “That’s the sound it makes. Whap!” “And it doesn’t leave a mark,” ̷...
