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• Day 235 - Complaining Character
  on Jun 2, 2013 in complain pity complaint blame realization character complains discipline Complaining responsibility
  Looking at this character of myself who complains.  The type of complaining that is not assisting or supporting, but making excuses for myself and pitying myself as if to desire that 'such and such an event' did not happen.  I have experien...
• Day 234 - Investigative Writing
  on Jun 1, 2013 in Investigation blame self resentment manipulation honesty frustration responsibility Investigate desteni
  This blog may seem a bit jumbled, as I was doing investigative style writing in order to get to the issue which I have been experiencing and dealing with over the past little while.So considering this morning, how I experience the point within myself...
• Day 232
  on May 29, 2013
  When did I learn to dislike myself?  Just asking myself this question now.  Besides that, where and when did I learn to judge myself, and judge myself so harshly?  Where did I copy this attitude that I must punish myself because appare...
• Day 233
  on May 29, 2013 in negative excuse justification giving up spite positive give up energy spiteful desteni
  I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get discouraged with myself in process due to an illness, and so within that allow myself to blame myself and get frustrated with myself for getting sick and not understanding the reason/dia...
• Day 231
  on May 27, 2013
  My process lately is focusing on focusing myself to be more effective, efficient, and disciplined with myself.  I naively underestimated many things in my life - to the extent that I created a series of patterns for which I even went so far as t...
• Day 230 - Agreements
  on May 26, 2013 in Agree course fragile life fear Agreements agreement desteni self support unique self-held relationship
  The point of relationship/agreement came up within me today as it often does.  So looking at the point is somewhat perplexing as it has so many facets, so many variables, and so many unknowns... like a massive web of uncertainty... This must be...
• Day 229
  on May 25, 2013
  I am still feeling a little ill today, and as a consequence of this, I have noticed a slight despondence within myself.  The predominant experience of myself is negative, a struggle, with a random dash of momentary enjoyment.  Illness does...
• Day 228
  on May 24, 2013
  So I have been sick again over the past few days... not sure what this one is/was but just started to feel better today.  Anyway, I allowed myself to get discouraged with myself as I had planned on working to get business rolling, yet it did not...
• Day 227
  on May 23, 2013
  It started with a fear of losing my opportunity to express myself, a regret of a memory where I did not express myself in the way that I wanted to express myself - hence resentment at myself for rather than doing what I actually wanted to do, I ...
• Day 226 - Double-Mindedness a.k.a. Bi-Polar Disorder
  on May 22, 2013 in good crazy uncertain Double minded depression character Mind disorder manic Happiness Bi Polar
  From WikipediaBipolar disorder or bipolar affective disorder (historically known as manic–depressive disorder or manic depression) is a psychiatric diagnosis for a mood disorder. Individuals with bipolar disorder experience episodes of a frenzied s...
• Day 225 - What if?
  on May 20, 2013 in god ideas world who belief question experience what if Trap believed brainwashed creation System
  What if you are god, but you got amnesia and forgot who you were?What if you became lost in your own creation with no way out?What if you realized that you were somehow abducted as a child, and a virus/program was inserted into you, and your memory w...
• Day 224 - Learning to Trust the Physical
  on May 19, 2013 in trust thoughts process feelings physical real drugs fear fears dreams power living realize
  Learning to trust the physical is an interesting part of process.  When we drop all the fears we were living as/within before, we realize that we can no longer trust those mental ideas we had once placed so much of ourselves into.  We canno...
• Day 222 - Fear, Desire, and Consequence
  on May 18, 2013 in realization god reality quantum mind fear information desteni knowledge key Fear and Desire Opportunity strange System
  I saw a video of a man playing guitar on the street.    The strangest things can at times show us something profound within ourselves – the key is that we must have placed ourselves in a position to be able to see it.  If we have all...
• Day 223 - Desire
  on May 18, 2013
  De-sireNounA strong feeling of wanting to have something or wishing for something to happen.VerbStrongly wish for or want (something).Synonymsnoun.  wish - longing - craving - request - lust - will - wantverb.  wish - want - will...
• Day 220
  on May 16, 2013
  How can anyone deny the sickness that is our world?   Is our desire for selfish experience so alluring, so tantalizing that we cannot even see - what is the actual cost, the consequence of our collective, childish inconsideration, blat...
• Day 221
  on May 16, 2013
  I went to a business networking meeting today, where about 50 people gathered for a lunchtime discussion and some networking opportunities.  I had the chance to meet a few people and trade cards which may prove helpful in the future.  Every...
• Day 219 - Car Accident Wake Up Call
  on May 14, 2013 in dire who am I realization who purpose Car Accident truth circumstance understand shallowness realize
  So today driving home from work, traffic began to slow on the road leading to my home community.  It turns out there had just been an accident.  There was fresh debris everywhere, and about 20 people had stopped and were doing what they cou...
• Day 218
  on May 13, 2013
  I'm sitting here trying to think what to write for my blog today, going over things in my mind, trying to come up with some kind of angle that would assist myself or someone... maybe.  So here it is...It was a much longer day today than I had an...
• Day 217
  on May 12, 2013 in coping concern stop priority point desire stress struggle Relief Resistance
  Looking at an example of a point I am walking through.  I had struggled for a number of years with this point, not consecutively however.  There were times when I tried to stop the point, and did for a number of weeks only to have it return...
• Day 215 - Catching and Removing the Virus
  on May 11, 2013 in permission class access Mind host parasite attention attribute sub program run execute definition Virus System
  The only way to extricate the virus/parasite of fear which subverts me, takes away my responsibility, and consumes me, is to stand within and as myself - undivided, constant, self-directed, here in each and every breath.  As long as not all of m...

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